This List is brought to you by my recent haircut. I was watching the hairdresser blow dry my hair… twist, brush, dry, volumize, spritz, diffuse… and getting extremely annoyed. I don’t care about getting my hair blow dried. “Listen, I’m just going to put it in a pony tail when I leave here…can I skip this process? I am sure your arms are tired.” Well it turns out, my hair is the product of this lovely salon and they can’t send me on my merry way looking like a drowned rat. Bad for business and all. Sigh. FINE.
Anyways, all that got me thinking – what other minutes and hours of my life do I wish I could get back? Not the hours that everyone wishes for (standing in line, airport layovers, waiting in traffic, etc), but time you’ve spent, by choice, and now wish you could reclaim because it just wasn’t worth it or should never have been an important use of your time. Here’s what I came up with:
1. Any time I’ve ever spent getting my hair blow dried after a haircut. Have I mentioned I feel that’s a waste of my time? Please see above.
2. Every time I’ve stayed up late to watch an overtime or extra innings game and my team has lost. There is nothing like looking down at your watch after a four hour Red Sox game when the other team hits a walk off homerun and it’s 1 a.m. All that time invested and they lost? It’s just not right.
3. Any of the time I spent worrying about homework or grades before 6th grade. I know, I know, homework sets up good school habits and grades are important to establish taking pride in your work – but I spent a lot of time looking for A’s in grade school when B’s would have been just fine.
Dear 4th Grade Cailyn: In the real world…you know, where you’ll spend most of your life…grades don’t matter. It’s the habits and perseverance that homework teaches you that will serve you in life… so if you can find that somewhere else, calm down and take the B. Now go outside and play. Oh! And take naps. You don’t get them as an adult and you’ll regret every single one you didn’t take as a kid.
4. The entire 117 minutes I spent watching The Grey. Liam Neeson has a very particular set of skills — but disturbing and depressing treks through the Alaskan wilderness is not one of them. That being said: Liam Neeson is awesome and I shall not fault him nor charge him the 117 minutes if they come out with Taken 3. UPDATE: Liam Neeson just started shooting Taken 3 in Georgia – all is forgiven.
5. All the time I watched bad reality TV in the late 90s and early 2000s as the reality television genre exploded. The Real World had paved the way for such greats as Celebrity Fit Club, Temptation Island and The Swan. These shows were awful. The premise was awful, the “reality” was awful, and it was demeaning for everyone involved. But I tuned in to check them out and before I knew it I was arguing with my sister over who was the best at smizing on America’s Next Top Model. Now, don’t get me wrong – I still watch So You Think You Can Dance and The Biggest Loser and I understand why some junk TV (ahem, Kardashians) is necessary in life. I totally get it. But, personally, there are some long hours spent with Joe Millionaire and Tila Tequila that I’d like to get back.
6. Speaking of television, I’d like to get back any time I have spent watching great television shows that were cancelled the first season or entirely too soon. I could make a list just of “cancelled too early shows”, but my point here is that the time investment is the reason why I often have an entire season of a new show taking up space on my DVR so I can wait to see if it’ll get renewed before I binge watch.
7. All of the time I spent finishing books that I didn’t like. I used to push through and finish even the worst books because my OCD couldn’t handle “giving up.” Until a New Year’s Resolution a few years ago freed me from my chains: “I am a grown up now. I do not have to finish everything I start if I don’t like it.” We have this “Never give up” mantra that floats around in our society like it’s the only way. That’s absurd. Give it your best shot of course, but the reality is some things are meant to be given up. Like meth. And poorly written books. Actually, let’s all agree meth isn’t a “give it your best shot scenario.”
8. And finally. The Lost Hours. The actual hours I spent watching Lost. I want to get them all back and have never watched it because the ending left me feeling sad, a little bit confused and very unfulfilled. The producers and writers played it fast and loose with a lot of the details and plot lines – an insult to me as a viewer and as a fan. Rude.
What hours do you want back? Do you want your Lost hours returned to you? What’s your favorite bad reality television show from the past decade?