Do Turkeys FLY?!

It’s Throwback Thursday y’all! And today’s #TBT will feature a #countrylife story going back to my VERY FIRST day on the farm:

It was my first morning in our new home and I was alone and eating breakfast when I started to hear a knocking. The following internal dialogue took place:

“WHAT IS THAT? Who could possibly be knocking? Our driveway is a mile long! It’s not like someone could have snuck up on me!”

…cats go scurrying under the bed…

…I consider also scurrying under the bed…

“Ok. Must investigate. Here we go. I can read the newspaper headline now: ‘City girl gets killed by weird serial killer that claims his victims in broad daylight and after insistently knocking.’ …Do they have a newspaper here? Maybe we should get the Sunday delivered for coupons… I bet they don’t deliver down our driveway. I’d have to walk two miles on Sunday mornings for coupons…Ok, focus, I still hear knocking.”

…check the front door…

…check the side door…

…grab my cell phone and a broom so I can simultaneously call the police and beat the serial killer with a broom…

…finally tiptoe out onto the deck…

“This is how horror movies start. I’m the girl that gets lured outside and investigates the noise. I hate that girl, I can’t be that girl. I’m holding my cell phone like I’ll have time to make a call to the VOLUNTEER police services in this town of 1,456 residents. I am SO that girl…”

…and look over the rail at the basement door…

“…WHAT IS THAT. ARE THOSE FEATHERS?”

turkey2

“Oh my gosh I think that’s a turkey. Could that be a turkey? Knocking? I’m confused.”

…creep back inside, down the stairs, and slowly open the door so I can see where the turkey/serial killer would be standing…

turkey

“THAT’S A TURKEY. KNOCKING ON MY DOOR. I should try and record this. No one will ever believe me.”

This story ends with a short voice mail that I left after going back upstairs, out onto the deck:

:whispering: “Hey Josh. It’s me. Sooo I think a turkey is knocking on our back door…

…turkey hears me on deck and starts to fly away…

:suddenly shouting: “OH WAIT. DO TURKEYS FLY? It’s flying away?! Maybe it’s a vulture? I don’t know, but it flew!

:shriek: “Ahhh I just walked into a spider web.”

:slightly ashamed: “Call me back.”

I may or may not have needed to edit the language of my voice mail transcription. Which Josh STILL has saved on his phone since he thinks me almost being murdered by a polite, day time serial killer is hysterical.

The Redskins Rant

I’ve had many, many sports-related arguments in many, many bars. And today I decided to play out one of my favorites for you right here on my blog.

Last night, during the NBA Finals, a commercial brought to you by the National Congress of American Indians aired in seven major cities, examining many of the words Native Americans use to describe themselves – ‘daughter’, ‘father’, ‘patriot’, etc. The emphasis of course being at the end, when they explain the term they do not use is ‘Redskin’. I’ve been writing pieces of this list for a few years now…jotting down thoughts and ideas and my take on the name change controversy as it has unfolded…and of course I’ve been arguing about it:

Random Bar Patron: “But Daniel Snyder said they were originally named to honor their coach, a member of the Sioux tribe! It was an honor!”

That has been found to be incorrect. You can find proof of that printed in 1933 in the Hartford Courant. Oh, and if it was named after Coach “Lone Star” Dietz? They might want to find a different man to honor – It was later found that Coach Dietz wasn’t Native American at all. He made it up so he could avoid the World War I draft and served jail time for this offense. They didn’t even pick a good character to pretend to honor.

Random Bar Patron: “But the Native Americans don’t even care! Ask them!”

Partially true. Many Native Americans and entire tribes are indifferent to a Redskins name change. But. Being indifferent to a racial slur is not the same thing as speaking FOR the Redskins name. And entire tribes have spoken out against the name. In fact, the Yocha Dehe Wintun Nation just spent a lot of money on a commercial doing exactly that. Clearly they care and perhaps its time to retire that argument.

Random Bar Patron: “But what about tradition? It’s tradition!”

Oh, please. I could go for the obvious examples of “traditions” that changed (ahem, slavery, women’s suffrage, etc) but instead I’ll give you some traditions the Redskins in particular have delineated from: They have moved stadiums, which included changing the name of the stadium to just another <insert major corporation here> Field…they have changed their fight song (removed the phrase “scalp ’em”…good call guys) …and one day, long ago, they became the last NFL team to racially integrate. All breaks in traditions. Let’s have one more shall we?

MLK quotes

Random Bar Patron: “But other teams are named after Native Americans and stereotypes – what about the Indians? Chiefs? Fighting Irish?”

Ok, I am sick of this argument. Those are not racial slurs. Native Americans call themselves Indians. The word Chief is a positive and reverent term within Native American culture. In fact, both “Chief” and “Indian” are both words used in the commercial above. Neither word was intended to be used to imply hatred and disrespect. And the Fighting Irish? The Fighting Irish was meant to honor the grit and tenacity of the Irish…a stereotype? Sure. But not an ethnic slur.

Random Bar Patron: “But they don’t MEAN it as racist!”

I totally agree. I am sure when people say “Redskins” in reference to the NFL, they aren’t intentionally being racist. Of course not. But this is where the institutionalized racism within the sport becomes applicable. Just because it’s always been done or said doesn’t make it an acceptable nickname for a football team. Grow. Learn. Evolve. It is not acceptable to defend a term born out of hatred and meant as a slur just because it has been accepted. It is absolutely like taking another racial slur and making it a professional sports teams’ nickname. I won’t write an example here because then I would be perpetuating the word and hatred involved in such words. But use your imagination. And then picture the riots that would occur in the streets if that happened.

Random Bar Patron: “This is just another example of how our world is becoming too politically correct, I’m sick of it!”

Really. Really. We’re going to call insulting a large contingent of people okay? You must be saying it is okay if it’s just being “politically correct” to change the name. This isn’t a “The Native Americans are being overly sensitive” situation. It’s always been a racial slur. We’re not talking about changing the name of Christmas tree to “Holiday Trees”. Becoming “too PC” seems to be a trend these days – but changing the names of sports teams out of respect for Native Americans began 50 years ago! It’s not a recent development. So this isn’t an example of just pandering to the PC masses – this is an example of rectifying a situation that has gone on far too long.

elie wiesel quote

For me, this isn’t about being politically correct, or placating the feelings of a few – this is about respect. The word is defined as derogatory, is considered defamatory and was created to incite hate. I realize their numbers are few and that Native Americans may not have the voice to bring out about change on their own. I even realize that this may not impact their every day lives and will never impact my every day life. But that doesn’t make it acceptable. I believe you are on the wrong side of history if you continue to support the use of a racial epithet. Love thy neighbor. And thy neighbor should not have to be subjected to this term in the National Football League.

It will be changed. It’s just a matter of time.

If you were at the bar with me, would you jump in and contribute to this argument? Or would you sit back, sip a beer and watch my blood pressure rise?

Country Life

Introducing a new section of the blog today that takes a look at this City Girl’s exposure to Country Life. Future stories will be nestled under the “Country Life” tab!

Right before our move a hysterical example of #countrylife occurred and I’ve been meaning to post it. I’ll set the scene:

I’m inside the house, watching the Bruins game. Suddenly the door opens and Josh comes bursting in, Professor Quirrell-style.

quirrell

Josh: “Cows! There’s cows on our side of the river!”

Cailyn: “What.”

Josh, very agitated: “I just went down to the river and somehow the cows crossed it and they’re on our land.”

Cailyn, unfazed: “Okay. Sweet.”

Josh: “Well what should we do about it?”

Cailyn: “Are you kidding? What is there for us to do? I don’t know how to herd COWS.”

Josh, still worried: …”Are you up for an adventure then? We need to try.”

Cailyn, sighing: “Fine. Let’s go. Let’s go herd cows. Ginormous animals. COWS. Let’s attempt to get them to cross a stream. I hope they respond well to me politely asking.”

Now, as to be expected… we got down to the river, and the cows had already crossed back over. Because, you know, they’re animals. They go home.

The cows, safely navigating the hill on the correct side of the stream.

The cows, safely navigating the hill on the correct side of the stream.

 

I’ll Try Anything Twice

I always say “I’ll try anything twice.” This started by learning early on that you can’t really judge most things by the first try. I tried asparagus and sweet potatoes and hated them both – but after trying them a second time, prepared by excellent cooks (my friends Tami & Eli), I discovered I liked them. So giving everything at least two chances is one of my Life Rules. Here’s a list of things I have tried twice and never need to try again:

1. Skiing

I’ve gone skiing twice in my life, both times in my mid-twenties. I left the mountain a reasonably good skier, getting past the bunny runs and onto the intermediate slopes without any injuries. But while I didn’t fall down the mountain, I found that I was constantly afraid of hurting myself. It just seems like a really silly way to A. Blow out your ACL or B. Die. Not to mention I was never happy while doing it – Cold and, inevitably wet, under the threat of injury, is not my idea of a good time.

2. Mission Space (Orange Team)

If you’re not familiar, Mission Space is a ride at EPCOT meant to simulate what an astronaut would feel during liftoff on a mission to Mars. I don’t normally have a problem with any motion sickness or thrill ride, but I felt yucky and had a headache for at least an hour after both times I rode Mission Space. And I wasn’t alone – after a few years, they started offering a “Green Team” mission, which does NOT simulate the centrifugal force (spinning) that makes most people nauseous. Honestly, I don’t know why I even gave it a second shot – the ride features a barf bag in front of your seat. Yeah, I’ll pass.

3. Cut my own hair

Bahahahaha just kidding! I have never cut my own hair. Plus…I feel like that’s a “try once and learn the hard way that it’s not for you” kind of thing.

Haircut

4. Coffee

It’s just not my favorite flavor – or smell. Twice I have tried it from someone’s coffee pot and both times I was reminded I did not enjoy that flavor. I can handle a Java Chip from Starbucks, which is basically chocolate, sugar and whipped cream… with a hint of coffee. When I was younger I never wanted to try it because my Mum told me that it stunted your growth, and “Don’t you want to be tall like Papa?” So perhaps it’s a holdover from that because I sure do still want to be like my Papa.

5. See a game at Braves Stadium in Atlanta

Twice I have seen the Red Sox play the Braves and twice it has been unbelievably hot, crowded and dirty. And the traffic is a nightmare. Not to even mention the Red Sox lost both times. The Braves are getting a new stadium and maybe I’ll give that one a shot (okay, fine, TWO shots).

6. The Opera

Call me uncultured, call me lacking in good taste or education – but I really disliked the experience both times I have been to an opera. I mean, I love the spaghetti/Olive Garden/pasta commercial music as much as the next girl, but I just really did not enjoy either opera I saw. To quote Josh, I’d have to say they were too “singy”.

7. Wine

I tried wine on my 21st birthday (I was at a winery, in Tuscany. I know, best 21st birthday ever) and once while trying to Drink Around the World at EPCOT and the glass of wine in ‘Italy’ was on special… And that went a little like this: “A drink special, at Disney World? I’ll take it! …” (Sip, sip) …”Ew. I still hate wine!” (throws back rest of glass like it’s a shot). So, I’ve tried wine in actual Italy, and EPCOT Italy…if I can’t like it at either of those places, it’s not for me.

If I remember, I’ll come back and add to this particular list when more examples come up. It was fun to brainstorm and remember a few things that I had forgotten that after doing them, I was all set with never doing them again. Obviously I may go skiing again. I’m just saying I’m pretty sure I don’t ever NEED to.

Insanity

Do you try everything twice like I do? Anything you’ve done a couple times and aren’t willing to try again?