Everyone Knows J. Lo

TWHS

Josh and I were catching up on episodes of Lip Sync Battle (again, if you’re not watching, you should be!) last weekend and Josh decided to show off his pop culture knowledge by naming everyone on stage. I tried to grab a quick photo of what we were watching and who was on stage:

20150425_112915From left to right, Josh pointed at the screen and named each celebrity as follows:

Josh: “Okay, that’s Tia Tequila…”

Me: “It’s TiLA Tequila and that’s definitely not her. That’s Chrissy Teigen. She’s married to John Legend? I told you that when he was on this same show last week.”

Josh: “Then the girl from The Devil Wears Prada.”

Me: “Nope. Again. That was the girl on this show from a few weeks ago, Anne Hathaway. This is Anna Kendrick. From Pitch Perfect?”

Josh: “Then Jennifer Lopez, everyone knows J. Lo – Enough, Maid in Manhattan, The Wedding Planner. She’s awesome.”

Josh: : “L.L. – N.C.I.S. – L.A.”

Josh: “The Office and Chuck.”

Me: “Again, still not Chuck. His actual name is John Krasinski. Chuck Bartowski was a character in a show and played by Zachary Levi.”

The reason I kept saying “again” is because I promise you I have answered these exact “who is that?” questions in the past.

Now, I’m aware some of you may not know who some of these people are either, because I’m not in your living room to repeat myself every single day. So, to review:

Teigen and Tila

These are not the same people.

These are also not the same people.

These are also not the same people.

And these are not the same people.

Also not the same people.

I purposely tried to choose photos in which both celebrities looked alike – enough to see Josh’s confusion. The sticking point in his pop culture fail is the number of times I answer him on who is who. It is at the point where I can’t watch Game of Thrones with him anymore because he doesn’t remember any of the characters, faces, plot lines…It makes for a frustrating hour of television.

In conclusion, later that same day we went and saw a movie.

In which, John Mayer has a cameo:

Josh leans over and whispers: “He’s married to Tia Tequila.”

They could be twins.

They could be twins.

But the good news is I never have to help him identify a J. Lo film!

What celebrities do you always mix up? Should I do an entire post comprised of the numerous celebrities Josh always misidentifies?

Harry Potter and the Dragon of Alcatraz

TWHS

Today’s That’s What He Said is brought to you by Josh’s discussion of Harry Potter with the 10 year old girl I babysit for:

Kate: “I finished Harry Potter. Again.”

Josh: “Did he get the dragon?”

Kate, stares: “What?”

Cailyn: “He clearly hasn’t read them.”

Josh: “Have they made the last movie yet?”

Cailyn and Kate: “Yes! Years ago!”

Josh: “So which one is the last movie then?”

Kate: “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part Two.”

Josh: “There’s TWO of them? I haven’t seen those. I saw the Half Blood Prince one. And the Alcatraz one. It’s not Alcatraz.”

Cailyn: “Azkaban.”

Josh: “And I saw the one where they play Quidditch.”

Cailyn: “They play Quidditch? That’s almost all of them…”

Josh: “Okay so what are the other three then? Wait, how many movies are there? Five?”

Cailyn: “Eight.”

Josh: “Oh wow. I definitely did not think there were eight.”

Kate proceeds to school him: “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows – and that’s in two parts for movies.”

Josh: “That was exhausting even to listen to.”

Kate seemed a little exasperated with Josh – can’t imagine why!

bookstofilm

dumbledore

The Nightmares of a Crazy Cat Lady

TWHS

Josh was out of town last weekend, and so it was just me and the kitties…I had a nightmare and called Josh the next morning to tell him about it:

Me: “I had a nightmare last night…it was so scary. I had a dream that I woke up after hearing a noise, opened our bedroom door, and looked to the left and saw the cat litter box in the middle of the hallway. I was puzzled and walked out towards it and a serial killer grabbed me from behind and put his hand over my mouth! I woke myself up screaming, it was AWFUL.”

…Josh bursts out laughing…

Me: “Why are you laughing?! It was terrible, I woke up actually yelling!!!”

Josh: “I’m sorry, I’m sure it was scary. I am laughing because of the cat litter box. Do you realize that you’re such a crazy cat lady that your version of a ‘distraction’ used by a serial killer is the cat litter box in the wrong place?”

Me: “I concede your point.”

Me: “But it was still scary.”

catadoption lovecat

IMAG0126 IMAG0315

How could these furry faces NOT make me a crazy cat lady?

Flashback Friday – Super Bowl Weekend!

TWHS

Getting back in the swing of things around here with a little Flashback TWHS to last year’s Super Bowl. It was our first year at our new home in Virginia, so it was our first year not hosting our annual Super Bowl party and I was a little sad:

Josh: “Should we bring the other TV in here for the Super Bowl?”

Cailyn: “What for, it’s only on one channel?”

Josh: “So we can have two TVs with the Super Bowl on. Like at a bar.”

Cailyn: “I really feel like the extremely large and slightly embarrassing 60 inch screen we have is enough…but if you want. And let’s remember this moment when I beg for both TVs in here during March Madness to watch more than one game and you laugh at me because its basketball.”

Josh: “The answer is no. It’s basketball.”

And thus further explains this difference in our sports fandoms: I watch any sport, all sports, all the time. I love the story lines, I love the games, I love the players, I love it all. Josh would be happy with just football (college and pro) for the rest of his life. Meanwhile, I stayed up until 1 am last night watching live Australian Open coverage of the Mixed Doubles Semi-Final. Mixed Doubles. Semi-final. I bet most people didn’t even know the majors still played Mixed Doubles championships. I’m not saying I was the only person in America watching, but I am sure it wasn’t breaking any ratings records.

PS: The intriguing storyline for me was Martina Hingis was playing – I loved her before she retired from singles and thus wanted to see her win. Spoiler: She did. On to the Finals.

superbowleuropewins

 

And finally, because what post is complete without a cat…

gronkkittens

Yup. That’s Patriots Tight End Rob Gronkowski and a kitten. You’re welcome.

And go PATRIOTS.

doyourjob

 

It’s actually just ‘Tiffani Thiessen’ now.

TWHS

The following conversation occurred while trying to decide what to clear off the DVR:

Me: “How about a Hallmark Original movie? We’ve got “North Pole” and “The Nine Lives of Christmas. “North Pole” sounds good…it is about a woman who needs to believe in Christmas and “The Nine Lives” is about…”

…me, flipping on the DVR list to read the “Nine Lives” description…

Josh: “And that one has a photo of a cat in the description.”

Cailyn: “You’re right – too hard to choose, let’s flip a coin.”

…flip coin, we settle on “North Pole” and we start the movie…

Josh: “TIFFANI AMBER THIESSEN?!!”

Cailyn: “It’s actually just Tiffani Thiessen now.”

Josh: “So she’s available? Sorry hun, gotta go!”

Cailyn: “Why would dropping her middle name have any impact on whether she was single?”

Josh: “I don’t like your tone.”

Just another night in the Noland house!

catreindeer

It’s Pronounced “WeeGee”

TWHS

This weekend Josh and I were deciding what movie to see, and Josh was reading me the list of movie options at our local theater:

Josh: “Interstellar, Fury… Ooo-ja? I don’t know how to pronounce this: O-U-I-J-A.”

Me: “Ouija.” (Pronounced Wee Gee, for those who don’t know)

Josh: “No. I’m pretty sure there’s an ‘E’ in that word you just said. That would be spelled W-E-G-E. ‘We’ like me and you, and then Ge. It could also be hyphenated.”

Me: “Trust me, that is definitely Ouija.”

Josh: “That is not a ‘Merican word. I’m ‘Merican.”

So we saw “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.”

Based on a book, so I was happy.

Exclusively “American” words in the title, Josh was happy.

ouija

That’s absurd.

TWHS

About six months ago, a commercial came on for Bethenny Frankel’s talk show, Bethenny.

Josh: “Who the heck is Bethenny?”

Me: “She was on Real Housewives of New York City, now she has her own talk show.”

Josh: “Why?”

Me: “Why what? Why does she have her own show? A lot of people like her, she invented Skinnygirl Cocktails, I don’t know. She’s not even on Real Housewives anymore.”

Josh: “And now she has a talk show. That’s absurd.”

….Cut to present day, when TMZ is on and they’re covering Bethenny’s return to the Real Housewives of New York…

Josh: “Who the heck is Bethenny?”

Me, sighing: “That girl, who had her own talk show and you thought it was absurd? Her talk show was cancelled and now she’s on The Real Housewives of New York City again.”

Josh: “I don’t remember that at all. But that’s still absurd.”

Me: “Yes, honey, I know.”

realityshow

 

You say ‘Potato’, I say ‘Potahhhto’

TWHS

Here’s another Throwback Thursday “That’s What He Said” for all of you who may have missed the Facebook status version:

Josh and I were discussing a friend’s favorite show:

Me: “She likes Downton Abbey.”

Josh: “What’s Downtown Abbey?”

Me: “It’s Downton Abbey, not Downtown.”

Josh: “You say potato, I say potahhhto.”

Me: “No. This is not a potato/potaaahto situation. They’re different words.”

Josh: “Downtown. Downton. Potato. Potato.”

Me: “But…”

<Sigh>

Me: “Forget it.”

downton meme

Ghost on First!

Here’s a special edition of “That’s What He Said” featuring Josh’s dear Mom, Judi. She probably won’t be super thrilled to be featured on the blog, but the following interaction was just too perfect to not post… Sorry Judi, but you and Josh are two of the most inadvertently funny people I have ever met!

Judi, Josh and I spent Saturday night watching the Cleveland Indians play some baseball. In the fourth inning, Indians’ second baseman Jason Kipnis reached first base on a bunt. His picture was shown up on the JumboTron, as every other Indians player had been throughout the game. It looked a little something like this:

Indians one

Judi: “So this Jason Kipnis? He died?”

Me: “Died? No, he bunted.”

Judi: “Well they keep showing his picture up on the screen a lot so I thought maybe he died and it was a tribute or something.”

Me, laughing so hard: “He’s the guy standing on first… they put everyone’s photo up on the screen when they’re batting.”

Josh: “Ghost on FIRST!”

Judi, slightly annoyed at our laughter: “Well it says 2014 under his name! Why would they do that?”

Me: “Because it is 2014? It’s under everyone’s name.”

….And, as luck would have it…. batting next in the Indians’ lineup….

Indians 3

Me, still laughing: “Now Jesus… Jesus may no longer be with us.”

Josh: “Wow, 2014 was a tough year for Major League Baseball. May Jesus rest in peace.”

Ohhh Judi, how we love you! Thanks for a great weekend and some wonderful times!

Sandwich Kids Understand

TWHS

Josh and I were discussing the possible bathroom options during our long runs on the Creeper Trail.

Me: “Around the four mile mark there are two Bouse Houses. That’s always an option.”

Josh, staring: “What.”

Me: “I mean, worst case scenario, obviously a Bouse House isn’t preferable…”

Josh: “I don’t understand the words that are coming out of your mouth. Are you speaking another language?

Me: “Which words?!”

Josh: “I seriously don’t understand. Boose Hoose?!”

Me: “A Bouse House? You know, a Porta Potty? A Blue Room? Is ‘Bouse House’ a Northern term? Are you messing with me?”

Josh: “I have never heard the term ‘Bouse House’. Ever.”

Me: “Huh. Maybe it’s a Northern thing. Let me Google it.”

…Googling…

Me: “So. My bad. It’s not even a Northern thing. It’s a SANDWICH thing. It’s totally the name of the Porta Potty company in Sandwich. Ha. I had no idea that wasn’t common slang. I’ve always called them that. I guess it’s not the first time I’ve been speaking my own language.”

Josh: “Clearly.”

You can take the girl off of Cape Cod, but you can’t take the Cape Cod out of the girl.

Anyone else call them that to a non-Cape Codder and be met with puzzlement? Or is this just me?