The Nightmares of a Crazy Cat Lady

TWHS

Josh was out of town last weekend, and so it was just me and the kitties…I had a nightmare and called Josh the next morning to tell him about it:

Me: “I had a nightmare last night…it was so scary. I had a dream that I woke up after hearing a noise, opened our bedroom door, and looked to the left and saw the cat litter box in the middle of the hallway. I was puzzled and walked out towards it and a serial killer grabbed me from behind and put his hand over my mouth! I woke myself up screaming, it was AWFUL.”

…Josh bursts out laughing…

Me: “Why are you laughing?! It was terrible, I woke up actually yelling!!!”

Josh: “I’m sorry, I’m sure it was scary. I am laughing because of the cat litter box. Do you realize that you’re such a crazy cat lady that your version of a ‘distraction’ used by a serial killer is the cat litter box in the wrong place?”

Me: “I concede your point.”

Me: “But it was still scary.”

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How could these furry faces NOT make me a crazy cat lady?

Flashback Friday – Super Bowl Weekend!

TWHS

Getting back in the swing of things around here with a little Flashback TWHS to last year’s Super Bowl. It was our first year at our new home in Virginia, so it was our first year not hosting our annual Super Bowl party and I was a little sad:

Josh: “Should we bring the other TV in here for the Super Bowl?”

Cailyn: “What for, it’s only on one channel?”

Josh: “So we can have two TVs with the Super Bowl on. Like at a bar.”

Cailyn: “I really feel like the extremely large and slightly embarrassing 60 inch screen we have is enough…but if you want. And let’s remember this moment when I beg for both TVs in here during March Madness to watch more than one game and you laugh at me because its basketball.”

Josh: “The answer is no. It’s basketball.”

And thus further explains this difference in our sports fandoms: I watch any sport, all sports, all the time. I love the story lines, I love the games, I love the players, I love it all. Josh would be happy with just football (college and pro) for the rest of his life. Meanwhile, I stayed up until 1 am last night watching live Australian Open coverage of the Mixed Doubles Semi-Final. Mixed Doubles. Semi-final. I bet most people didn’t even know the majors still played Mixed Doubles championships. I’m not saying I was the only person in America watching, but I am sure it wasn’t breaking any ratings records.

PS: The intriguing storyline for me was Martina Hingis was playing – I loved her before she retired from singles and thus wanted to see her win. Spoiler: She did. On to the Finals.

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And finally, because what post is complete without a cat…

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Yup. That’s Patriots Tight End Rob Gronkowski and a kitten. You’re welcome.

And go PATRIOTS.

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It’s actually just ‘Tiffani Thiessen’ now.

TWHS

The following conversation occurred while trying to decide what to clear off the DVR:

Me: “How about a Hallmark Original movie? We’ve got “North Pole” and “The Nine Lives of Christmas. “North Pole” sounds good…it is about a woman who needs to believe in Christmas and “The Nine Lives” is about…”

…me, flipping on the DVR list to read the “Nine Lives” description…

Josh: “And that one has a photo of a cat in the description.”

Cailyn: “You’re right – too hard to choose, let’s flip a coin.”

…flip coin, we settle on “North Pole” and we start the movie…

Josh: “TIFFANI AMBER THIESSEN?!!”

Cailyn: “It’s actually just Tiffani Thiessen now.”

Josh: “So she’s available? Sorry hun, gotta go!”

Cailyn: “Why would dropping her middle name have any impact on whether she was single?”

Josh: “I don’t like your tone.”

Just another night in the Noland house!

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It’s Pronounced “WeeGee”

TWHS

This weekend Josh and I were deciding what movie to see, and Josh was reading me the list of movie options at our local theater:

Josh: “Interstellar, Fury… Ooo-ja? I don’t know how to pronounce this: O-U-I-J-A.”

Me: “Ouija.” (Pronounced Wee Gee, for those who don’t know)

Josh: “No. I’m pretty sure there’s an ‘E’ in that word you just said. That would be spelled W-E-G-E. ‘We’ like me and you, and then Ge. It could also be hyphenated.”

Me: “Trust me, that is definitely Ouija.”

Josh: “That is not a ‘Merican word. I’m ‘Merican.”

So we saw “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.”

Based on a book, so I was happy.

Exclusively “American” words in the title, Josh was happy.

ouija

That’s absurd.

TWHS

About six months ago, a commercial came on for Bethenny Frankel’s talk show, Bethenny.

Josh: “Who the heck is Bethenny?”

Me: “She was on Real Housewives of New York City, now she has her own talk show.”

Josh: “Why?”

Me: “Why what? Why does she have her own show? A lot of people like her, she invented Skinnygirl Cocktails, I don’t know. She’s not even on Real Housewives anymore.”

Josh: “And now she has a talk show. That’s absurd.”

….Cut to present day, when TMZ is on and they’re covering Bethenny’s return to the Real Housewives of New York…

Josh: “Who the heck is Bethenny?”

Me, sighing: “That girl, who had her own talk show and you thought it was absurd? Her talk show was cancelled and now she’s on The Real Housewives of New York City again.”

Josh: “I don’t remember that at all. But that’s still absurd.”

Me: “Yes, honey, I know.”

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Ghost on First!

Here’s a special edition of “That’s What He Said” featuring Josh’s dear Mom, Judi. She probably won’t be super thrilled to be featured on the blog, but the following interaction was just too perfect to not post… Sorry Judi, but you and Josh are two of the most inadvertently funny people I have ever met!

Judi, Josh and I spent Saturday night watching the Cleveland Indians play some baseball. In the fourth inning, Indians’ second baseman Jason Kipnis reached first base on a bunt. His picture was shown up on the JumboTron, as every other Indians player had been throughout the game. It looked a little something like this:

Indians one

Judi: “So this Jason Kipnis? He died?”

Me: “Died? No, he bunted.”

Judi: “Well they keep showing his picture up on the screen a lot so I thought maybe he died and it was a tribute or something.”

Me, laughing so hard: “He’s the guy standing on first… they put everyone’s photo up on the screen when they’re batting.”

Josh: “Ghost on FIRST!”

Judi, slightly annoyed at our laughter: “Well it says 2014 under his name! Why would they do that?”

Me: “Because it is 2014? It’s under everyone’s name.”

….And, as luck would have it…. batting next in the Indians’ lineup….

Indians 3

Me, still laughing: “Now Jesus… Jesus may no longer be with us.”

Josh: “Wow, 2014 was a tough year for Major League Baseball. May Jesus rest in peace.”

Ohhh Judi, how we love you! Thanks for a great weekend and some wonderful times!

Rainy and Rocky

Deep thoughts on my run today:

Mile 5: “Hmm that sounds like thunder. A little light sprinkle might be wonderful to cool me off and lift some of this humidity.”

Mile 6: “Sprinkles! I love you, rain! It’s 10 degrees cooler! I love this! I am a badass. I am Rocky on the steps in Philly.”

Mile 7: “I’m the King of the World! I can do anything! Who runs the world? I do. I am invincible! I’m Mark Wahlberg in that movie… what it’s called? When he’s the walk-on football player? Oh yeah. ‘Invincible.'”

Mile 8: “It’s pouring. This isn’t fun anymore. My socks are getting wet. I hate wet socks. There might be nothing worse than wet socks.”

Mile 9: “I HATE MY LIFE AND THIS RUN AND THE RAIN AND ROCKY BECAUSE HE’S A LIAR. A DIRTY LIAR.”

Some runs are wonderful. Some runs are the worst things ever. Today wasn’t awesome. But the miles are done.

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#‎whoruntheworld‬ ‪#‎girls‬ ‪#‎eyeofthetiger‬ ‪#‎ninemilesdone‬ ‪#‎towerofterrortenmilertraining‬

Sandwich Kids Understand

TWHS

Josh and I were discussing the possible bathroom options during our long runs on the Creeper Trail.

Me: “Around the four mile mark there are two Bouse Houses. That’s always an option.”

Josh, staring: “What.”

Me: “I mean, worst case scenario, obviously a Bouse House isn’t preferable…”

Josh: “I don’t understand the words that are coming out of your mouth. Are you speaking another language?

Me: “Which words?!”

Josh: “I seriously don’t understand. Boose Hoose?!”

Me: “A Bouse House? You know, a Porta Potty? A Blue Room? Is ‘Bouse House’ a Northern term? Are you messing with me?”

Josh: “I have never heard the term ‘Bouse House’. Ever.”

Me: “Huh. Maybe it’s a Northern thing. Let me Google it.”

…Googling…

Me: “So. My bad. It’s not even a Northern thing. It’s a SANDWICH thing. It’s totally the name of the Porta Potty company in Sandwich. Ha. I had no idea that wasn’t common slang. I’ve always called them that. I guess it’s not the first time I’ve been speaking my own language.”

Josh: “Clearly.”

You can take the girl off of Cape Cod, but you can’t take the Cape Cod out of the girl.

Anyone else call them that to a non-Cape Codder and be met with puzzlement? Or is this just me? 

That’s What SHE Said

Switching up the usual That’s What He Said and featuring a little story from last night:

I was talking with one of my best friends (she shall remain unnamed unless she wants to take credit in the comments…hehehe) about people being judgmental of others on Facebook:

Her: “Yeah, I was just reading the other day about Mom on Mom hate. Like, how wrong it is that Moms don’t just support each other. I think I was reading it on the Today Show website.”

Me, laughing: “The Today Show huh? Or maybe you read my blog?”

She bursts out laughing.

Her: “Oh my goodness you’re right. It was YOU. I just quoted you TO YOU.”

It was so perfect and hilarious I just felt like I had to share. I’m so lucky to have such wonderful friends… and readers 😉

old friends

Have you ever quoted something someone has said to the person that said it? Have you quoted something from Live, Laugh, List?

National Treasure

TWHS

Here’s a Throwback Thursday “That’s What He Said” for all of those who weren’t Facebook stalking me on the day that I made it my status:

Over the winter, Josh and I were discussing Bob Costas’ eye infection during the Olympics:

Josh: “What if he dies from this?”

Me: “WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!”

Josh: “I’m just saying, what if…”

Me: “No. Stop. Don’t even put it out into the atmosphere.”

Josh: “Oh, it’s out there. What if this is what takes Bobby out?”

Me: “Not. Funny. You really shouldn’t talk so flippantly about a national treasure.”

Josh: “BOBBBBBBYYYYYY.” <silence> 

“I don’t even remember him in National Treasure. Or National Treasure 2.”

If we could all take a moment to give thanks that Bob Costas was able to recover from his eye infection, that’d be perfect. Okay, thanks.