Today’s That’s What He Said is brought to you by Josh’s discussion of Harry Potter with the 10 year old girl I babysit for:
Kate: “I finished Harry Potter. Again.”
Josh: “Did he get the dragon?”
Kate, stares: “What?”
Cailyn: “He clearly hasn’t read them.”
Josh: “Have they made the last movie yet?”
Cailyn and Kate: “Yes! Years ago!”
Josh: “So which one is the last movie then?”
Kate: “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part Two.”
Josh: “There’s TWO of them? I haven’t seen those. I saw the Half Blood Prince one. And the Alcatraz one. It’s not Alcatraz.”
Josh: “And I saw the one where they play Quidditch.”
Cailyn: “They play Quidditch? That’s almost all of them…”
Josh: “Okay so what are the other three then? Wait, how many movies are there? Five?”
Josh: “Oh wow. I definitely did not think there were eight.”
Kate proceeds to school him: “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows – and that’s in two parts for movies.”
Josh: “That was exhausting even to listen to.”
Kate seemed a little exasperated with Josh – can’t imagine why!
Josh was out of town last weekend, and so it was just me and the kitties…I had a nightmare and called Josh the next morning to tell him about it:
Me: “I had a nightmare last night…it was so scary. I had a dream that I woke up after hearing a noise, opened our bedroom door, and looked to the left and saw the cat litter box in the middle of the hallway. I was puzzled and walked out towards it and a serial killer grabbed me from behind and put his hand over my mouth! I woke myself up screaming, it was AWFUL.”
…Josh bursts out laughing…
Me: “Why are you laughing?! It was terrible, I woke up actually yelling!!!”
Josh: “I’m sorry, I’m sure it was scary. I am laughing because of the cat litter box. Do you realize that you’re such a crazy cat lady that your version of a ‘distraction’ used by a serial killer is the cat litter box in the wrong place?”
Me: “I concede your point.”
Me: “But it was still scary.”
How could these furry faces NOT make me a crazy cat lady?
The following conversation occurred while trying to decide what to clear off the DVR:
Me: “How about a Hallmark Original movie? We’ve got “North Pole” and “The Nine Lives of Christmas. “North Pole” sounds good…it is about a woman who needs to believe in Christmas and “The Nine Lives” is about…”
…me, flipping on the DVR list to read the “Nine Lives” description…
Josh: “And that one has a photo of a cat in the description.”
Cailyn: “You’re right – too hard to choose, let’s flip a coin.”
…flip coin, we settle on “North Pole” and we start the movie…
Josh: “TIFFANI AMBER THIESSEN?!!”
Cailyn: “It’s actually just Tiffani Thiessen now.”
Josh: “So she’s available? Sorry hun, gotta go!”
Cailyn: “Why would dropping her middle name have any impact on whether she was single?”
Josh: “I don’t like your tone.”
Just another night in the Noland house!
This weekend Josh and I were deciding what movie to see, and Josh was reading me the list of movie options at our local theater:
Josh: “Interstellar, Fury… Ooo-ja? I don’t know how to pronounce this: O-U-I-J-A.”
Me: “Ouija.” (Pronounced Wee Gee, for those who don’t know)
Josh: “No. I’m pretty sure there’s an ‘E’ in that word you just said. That would be spelled W-E-G-E. ‘We’ like me and you, and then Ge. It could also be hyphenated.”
Me: “Trust me, that is definitely Ouija.”
Josh: “That is not a ‘Merican word. I’m ‘Merican.”
So we saw “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.”
Based on a book, so I was happy.
Exclusively “American” words in the title, Josh was happy.
About six months ago, a commercial came on for Bethenny Frankel’s talk show, Bethenny.
Josh: “Who the heck is Bethenny?”
Me: “She was on Real Housewives of New York City, now she has her own talk show.”
Me: “Why what? Why does she have her own show? A lot of people like her, she invented Skinnygirl Cocktails, I don’t know. She’s not even on Real Housewives anymore.”
Josh: “And now she has a talk show. That’s absurd.”
….Cut to present day, when TMZ is on and they’re covering Bethenny’s return to the Real Housewives of New York…
Josh: “Who the heck is Bethenny?”
Me, sighing: “That girl, who had her own talk show and you thought it was absurd? Her talk show was cancelled and now she’s on The Real Housewives of New York City again.”
Josh: “I don’t remember that at all. But that’s still absurd.”
Me: “Yes, honey, I know.”
Here’s another Throwback Thursday “That’s What He Said” for all of you who may have missed the Facebook status version:
Josh and I were discussing a friend’s favorite show:
Me: “She likes Downton Abbey.”
Josh: “What’s Downtown Abbey?”
Me: “It’s Downton Abbey, not Downtown.”
Josh: “You say potato, I say potahhhto.”
Me: “No. This is not a potato/potaaahto situation. They’re different words.”
Josh: “Downtown. Downton. Potato. Potato.”
Me: “Forget it.”
Josh and I were discussing the possible bathroom options during our long runs on the Creeper Trail.
Me: “Around the four mile mark there are two Bouse Houses. That’s always an option.”
Josh, staring: “What.”
Me: “I mean, worst case scenario, obviously a Bouse House isn’t preferable…”
Josh: “I don’t understand the words that are coming out of your mouth. Are you speaking another language?
Me: “Which words?!”
Josh: “I seriously don’t understand. Boose Hoose?!”
Me: “A Bouse House? You know, a Porta Potty? A Blue Room? Is ‘Bouse House’ a Northern term? Are you messing with me?”
Josh: “I have never heard the term ‘Bouse House’. Ever.”
Me: “Huh. Maybe it’s a Northern thing. Let me Google it.”
Me: “So. My bad. It’s not even a Northern thing. It’s a SANDWICH thing. It’s totally the name of the Porta Potty company in Sandwich. Ha. I had no idea that wasn’t common slang. I’ve always called them that. I guess it’s not the first time I’ve been speaking my own language.”
You can take the girl off of Cape Cod, but you can’t take the Cape Cod out of the girl.
Anyone else call them that to a non-Cape Codder and be met with puzzlement? Or is this just me?
Switching up the usual That’s What He Said and featuring a little story from last night:
I was talking with one of my best friends (she shall remain unnamed unless she wants to take credit in the comments…hehehe) about people being judgmental of others on Facebook:
Her: “Yeah, I was just reading the other day about Mom on Mom hate. Like, how wrong it is that Moms don’t just support each other. I think I was reading it on the Today Show website.”
Me, laughing: “The Today Show huh? Or maybe you read my blog?”
She bursts out laughing.
Her: “Oh my goodness you’re right. It was YOU. I just quoted you TO YOU.”
It was so perfect and hilarious I just felt like I had to share. I’m so lucky to have such wonderful friends… and readers 😉
Have you ever quoted something someone has said to the person that said it? Have you quoted something from Live, Laugh, List?
Here’s a Throwback Thursday “That’s What He Said” for all of those who weren’t Facebook stalking me on the day that I made it my status:
Over the winter, Josh and I were discussing Bob Costas’ eye infection during the Olympics:
Josh: “What if he dies from this?”
Me: “WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!”
Josh: “I’m just saying, what if…”
Me: “No. Stop. Don’t even put it out into the atmosphere.”
Josh: “Oh, it’s out there. What if this is what takes Bobby out?”
Me: “Not. Funny. You really shouldn’t talk so flippantly about a national treasure.”
Josh: “BOBBBBBBYYYYYY.” <silence>
“I don’t even remember him in National Treasure. Or National Treasure 2.”
If we could all take a moment to give thanks that Bob Costas was able to recover from his eye infection, that’d be perfect. Okay, thanks.
In the car with Josh, listening to the 90s station on XM Radio and Aaliyah’s song “Are You That Somebody” comes on and I start singing it…
…Switch to Pop2K on XM and Aaliyah’s song “Try Again” comes on and I start singing it…
Josh: “You know all Aaliyah’s music?”
Me: “Well these two were her biggest hits. And it’s not like she’s releasing any more.”
Josh: “Why not?”
Me, staring at him: “Are you serious? Because she died like over ten years ago. In a plane crash. This was big news. It was really sad.”
Josh: “Are you sure? I feel like I would remember that.”
Me: “Very sure.”
Josh: “I’m still not sure.”
Check out all of Josh’s musings and pop culture educational deficiencies under the TWHS tab, or click here.